Bush Buys Voodoo Dolls of House and Senate

So today I'm here to complain about these strange pricking feelings being reported covertly by Democratic members of Congress through their staff. White House Press Secretary Yellow Snow insists that it has nothing to do with what presidential aides bought their boss this morning in a Washington (Still Citizen-Free Capital of the Free World thanks to the Republican Party) D.C. voodoo shop or that Pelosi rocked out that House Appropriations Bill. After releasing an exclusive report yesterday showing video footage of the voodoo shop that purported to demonstrate it was a "massage parlor" for discriminating clientel, Politico now entertains us all with a story about how the prick reported- sorry, was reported all wrong.

Ouch. What the... OUCH!!