Friday, December 07, 2007

7 Facts About the Dangerous Moonbat

So today Omelas got tagged with a little chain-blog-comment. Well, it's the internet. You know it had to happen. Fitness for the Occasion. I'll drop the rules of the game next, but first I'll explain how I'm hijacking it. Part of what's happened to the word "liberal" is that we liberals don't define the story of why liberals choose to be so. Instead, the conservatives define it on a range of misguided, to thievery, to debauchery, always lacking of any fundamental values. If someone asked you what political goals you pursed, you could rattle off: reproductive rights, public education, free press, fair wages, human rights, environmental conservation. Almost a year ago, I was involved in a conversation with several liberal and conservative friends of mine, when we tried to work out definitions of the motivations of both political philosophies. What did the words "big government" mean? What is government for? What did we believe citizens were responsible for and capable of doing? When you strip out actual legislative differences, are we so distant from each other? Some conservatives love to just say, "we are fulfilling the plan of God." Here's how your moonbat defines "liberal:"

"I believe as a liberal that we can build a society and establish a government that encourages the best in people while hedging against the worst. I believe that just as we inherited from the common past, we become obligated to invest in the common future. I believe that just as we strive to be good people, we strive as a people to be a good nation. I believe that we as humans have the basic right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, and the guarantee of this is the proper pursuit of the governments formed by the people. I believe in a commitment towards society will produce the foundation and security upon which individual citizens may then build a good life."


So I'm sharing seven facts about the measure of me as a liberal:

1. I used to hate Starbucks. When conservatives started hating Starbucks and equating it with being yucky liberals to drink there, my eyes were suddenly opened to the virtues of Starbucks. I now love Starbucks.

2. I honestly think if you don't recycle you aren't good enough to be a liberal.

3. Conservatives are onto something when they try to ban books that introduce atheism, people having sex outside of marriage, and liberal values, or talk about other cultures. They are right, exposure will diminish their arguments that their opinions are best. However, I feel no pity for them and they will never win the battle of ideas. I am all for using book donations anywhere to increase the number of liberals. I remember reading all those Morgan the Unicorn stories. I no longer believe in unicorns, but I still believe there is no better good than kindness.

4. A man in a uniform turns me on. Oh, soldier boy!!

5. I remember the day I could no longer squash bugs and spiders. I was the only child my mother had who was unafraid. Even my brother was afraid. My sister brought me into the basement to squash a spider on the door going out into the backyard. He face was red with disgust. The huge wolf spider crouched down when I approached it. But it sat there, awaiting it's impending doom, trapped in the hope that the door would open instead and it could go back outside. Not human hope. I don't think they have human emotions. But spider hope, it's own version of faith in how the universe works and would deliver it from this strange exile. We looked at each other for a long time, and I opened the door instead.

6. I measure my life largely against my sister. When we all went to my mother's relatives in Massachusetts for Thanksgiving, I was sulking because I was sure she'd be in a skirt, and therefor she would be the better daughter. When my mother pointed out that she had not arrived with a skirt, I was still not satisfied. All of it is a deep cover for the fact that she has children and I do not. There are books and books of photographs of her babies all over the place, and I will never give anything to my family that produces as much delight as those babies. I want to have a baby. Psychologists aren't kidding when they talk about sibling rivalry.

7. I was raped seven years ago at a college party. Not the kind, at least, with a danger of pregnancy. I'd had a lot of coconut rum and went to crash on the bed of a friend. I woke up to find her boyfriend rutting top of me. She woke up to find me kicking him. She rolled over and started punching me in the head. I pretended to fall unconscious and she stopped. Her boyfriend remarked that he guessed that I didn't like what he was doing. She replied it was still not acceptable for me to kick him. They fell asleep. I crept out. The next day he told everyone I was a good time. She pretended like I didn't exist. I never told anyone the truth. And I'm a feminist. I couldn't trust people enough to go to class, to even go to the mess hall and eat. I flunked out. I drive new friends away before they can plot against me. Even to this day I experience vivid memory flashes from that night every time I go into a stranger's home.

I believe what we experience in our lives makes us moral actors. Who knows how many of the things that happen to us slowly build up to make us the liberal that we are today. None of what I have shared can be neatly dissected into little explanations of how they cause me to be a liberal. But in them is something important. Hospitality, kindness to people in pain, understanding the universe, and even a love of babies. Some injustice, yes. And some things odd or out of place. But human. And liberal.

Blogs I've tagged: Ketchup is a Vegetable and Stealth Badger.
They get the love because they are my only semi-regular comment-girlies.

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Thursday, May 03, 2007

Texas Republican Hides 'Stench' Behind Patriotism

Moonbat enjoyed having voted for Steny Hoyer last fall, especially since he gave a royal thrashing to Texas Republican Lamar Smith, that aired this morning on CSPAN. Sweet!! At contention was Hate Crimes Bill 1592, which would "provide Federal assistance to States, local jurisdictions, and Indian tribes to prosecute hate crimes." Lamar Smith expounded at length that we as a society should expand the hate crimes bill to protect current and former members of the military, and when given the opportunity to have that ammendment added, objected to his own ammendment, my beloved southern gentleman took that skinny stick of a man out in front of the podium and the cameras and turned his good name into ground chuck roast. Out of the Judiciary Committee went 1592, on to passage through the work of 212 fine-looking Democrats. Do Hoyer proud and go visit these 14 Cowards about their likewise "stench." Oh Hoyer, if only you were a few years younger.

The New Republic runs down why the Republican Party's so-called "objections" to the bill don't hold water:
Christian Right groups claim that the bill will prevent Tony Perkins from gay-bashing every Sunday. That's doubtful. The National Review argues that "[T]here is no evidence that local law enforcement has a special need for federal resources to help it combat hate crimes." That's not true. Republicans complain that the bill wouldn't protect senior citizens and members of the military. But when John Conyers offered to add those protections to the bill, the GOP refused. NR, again, says that it could "open the door to legal punishment for harboring incorrect thoughts." That doesn't seem right, either: The bill pretty clearly states that a defendant's past statements or associations can't be used as evidence unless they "specifically relate to the offense."

Also noted that it's unsurprising Bush threatens a veto, given he believes hate crimes don't exist.

A curious conservative reaction, found via the American Renissance newsfeed. The AP story in snippets and then come the comments: "The real reason for “hate crimes” laws are to take white people’s ability to organize away from them. If white people can no longer even discuss, the effect that non-white’s have on their communities, then their ability to organize politically will no longer exist. Also, if a white person has to think twice about defending him/herself from a non-white on the street, this will keep white people in a state of fear, that will make them very easy to manage politically." {Some advice on how to prove a Jew is faking a hate crime.} How can this nation ever identify itself and fair when it singles out specific people for special protection? I get more and more disgusted by these politicians every day. I find myself starting to agree more and more with this nation’s enemies. Did I read that? "Hate Crime Bills" increase recruitment for Al-Qaeda? And I thought I had read it all.

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Friday, February 02, 2007

Moonbat Agrees Xena to Blame for 9-11

So today finds I have sputtered my way through revising poor Dinesh D'Souza's twenty-seven page introduction to his new book. My fingers are tired and my tongue is bleeding, but I agree. Feminists above all of the liberals on the goddess' green earth are the root cause of Osama bin Laden's plot to strike America. Dinesh should still be fired and put in a straightjacket, so he does his reputation as a scholar no more harm, so poorly argued do we find his proposition that "cultural" liberals provoked the (not capable of resisting evil) traditionalist Muslims into hating America. "Cultural??" Dinesh explains, that's anything he finds trivial, vulgar and discusting, including the commercials in the upcoming Super Bowl and the word "vagina."

Dinesh claims Muslims were provoked by Shrillary- forgetting that she wasn't elected to the Senate until 2000, after OBL had announced his fatwa in 1998 (which Dinesh quotes but doesn't mention), and the plot had been formed in 1999. Dinesh claims Muslims were provoked by Planned Parenthood International providing birth control to women- except that none of Ethiopia, India, Kenya, Mexico, Nepal, Nicaragua, or Peru are Muslim nations. Otherwise, Planned Parenthood only affiliates with local organizations and still, with no countries in the Middle East. Dinesh claims Muslims somehow heard of the basement performance of the sick and demented"Vagina Monologues" in 1996, despite the fact it didn't get national until 2001 or around to critizing the Taliban's treatment of women until 2003. Oh wait, Dinesh must add that it's unproven and a stereotype that Muslim societies oppress women. Really?? Really. Oh yes, Muslims hate America because liberals and feminists encourage improper conduct on the part of vaginas!!

What blinded Dinesh from perceiving that Osama must have been obcessed with the number one "cultural" left vagina in America at the time of his fatwa?? Xena!! That free-flowing black-haired beauty with bare legs and busty armor, prancing around with her equally unrobed "female companion... wink wink" every time poor Muslim men turned on their satellite televison to watch the 700 Club. How could those liberals be exporting a television show about "taking responsibility for past misdeeds, the value of human life, personal liberty and sacrifice, and friendship" and talking vaginas? Intolerable! Must... hijack.. planes... fly them.. into the... World Trade Center... and the Pentagon.... and the White House. Since in fact, it would target the real life "Warrior Princess," the nicknamed Condoleezza Rice, then National Security Advisor.

Little does Dinesh know the depraved depths and far reaching effect Xena had on those Muslims. Under this patron saint, no this patron goddess, feminists spent the 1990s striving to liberalize America's political asylum laws to include violence and oppression that specifically targets women-from gang rape, to forced abortions, to female genital mutilation. American feminists also lent their strenth to local campaigns in Africa, among all those traditional peoples whom Dinesh claims to speak on behalf of, to local women's rights groups working to end the practice of FGM, leading to local success and national victory, for instance in the complete ban of the practice by court ruling in 1997 in the Muslim majority country of Burkina Faso. Little does Dinesh know, and nothing can he then tell you of the evils spread into the minds of women over the world by... Xena!!

AYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIII!!!

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