Friday, February 02, 2007

Moonbat Agrees Xena to Blame for 9-11

So today finds I have sputtered my way through revising poor Dinesh D'Souza's twenty-seven page introduction to his new book. My fingers are tired and my tongue is bleeding, but I agree. Feminists above all of the liberals on the goddess' green earth are the root cause of Osama bin Laden's plot to strike America. Dinesh should still be fired and put in a straightjacket, so he does his reputation as a scholar no more harm, so poorly argued do we find his proposition that "cultural" liberals provoked the (not capable of resisting evil) traditionalist Muslims into hating America. "Cultural??" Dinesh explains, that's anything he finds trivial, vulgar and discusting, including the commercials in the upcoming Super Bowl and the word "vagina."

Dinesh claims Muslims were provoked by Shrillary- forgetting that she wasn't elected to the Senate until 2000, after OBL had announced his fatwa in 1998 (which Dinesh quotes but doesn't mention), and the plot had been formed in 1999. Dinesh claims Muslims were provoked by Planned Parenthood International providing birth control to women- except that none of Ethiopia, India, Kenya, Mexico, Nepal, Nicaragua, or Peru are Muslim nations. Otherwise, Planned Parenthood only affiliates with local organizations and still, with no countries in the Middle East. Dinesh claims Muslims somehow heard of the basement performance of the sick and demented"Vagina Monologues" in 1996, despite the fact it didn't get national until 2001 or around to critizing the Taliban's treatment of women until 2003. Oh wait, Dinesh must add that it's unproven and a stereotype that Muslim societies oppress women. Really?? Really. Oh yes, Muslims hate America because liberals and feminists encourage improper conduct on the part of vaginas!!

What blinded Dinesh from perceiving that Osama must have been obcessed with the number one "cultural" left vagina in America at the time of his fatwa?? Xena!! That free-flowing black-haired beauty with bare legs and busty armor, prancing around with her equally unrobed "female companion... wink wink" every time poor Muslim men turned on their satellite televison to watch the 700 Club. How could those liberals be exporting a television show about "taking responsibility for past misdeeds, the value of human life, personal liberty and sacrifice, and friendship" and talking vaginas? Intolerable! Must... hijack.. planes... fly them.. into the... World Trade Center... and the Pentagon.... and the White House. Since in fact, it would target the real life "Warrior Princess," the nicknamed Condoleezza Rice, then National Security Advisor.

Little does Dinesh know the depraved depths and far reaching effect Xena had on those Muslims. Under this patron saint, no this patron goddess, feminists spent the 1990s striving to liberalize America's political asylum laws to include violence and oppression that specifically targets women-from gang rape, to forced abortions, to female genital mutilation. American feminists also lent their strenth to local campaigns in Africa, among all those traditional peoples whom Dinesh claims to speak on behalf of, to local women's rights groups working to end the practice of FGM, leading to local success and national victory, for instance in the complete ban of the practice by court ruling in 1997 in the Muslim majority country of Burkina Faso. Little does Dinesh know, and nothing can he then tell you of the evils spread into the minds of women over the world by... Xena!!


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Blogger Viper1 said...

I love that you are unafraid to use the "Moonbat" when describing a particular segment of the political realm.. LOL

Yes Virginia, it really was Xenas fault... too frakkin funny..

1:34:00 PM  
Blogger olive said...

So I thought about it and, you know, why be insulted when it describes me perfectly? Mostly I work and live at night, sleep during the day, which means I tend to see the world literally from an upside-down/in reverse way. And bats are extremely graceful in flight and are excellent hunters, and where I live, invaluable for controlling the bug population. I am going to get little bats for this blog someday, cute little bats.

3:53:00 AM  

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