Thursday, January 25, 2007

Moonbat Gets Her Car Towed

So today the battery light clicked on during the early dark hours drive to work and within a minute the lights went out, the gauges collapsed, and I was still hurtling down the interstate. And I may have been exceeding the 65 mph speed limit, but as that gauge was also gone, I shall never have to confess. After being certain for a moment everything was going to end with me splattered on the pillar of an overpass, I braked onto the shoulder, and set about the business of calling work to use a day of holiday leave to have my car fixed. And then I called AAA and waited for the tow truck to show.

Less than an hour later I got to know Charlie, a divorced 40 something and former department manager in retail. And after seeing my liberal bumperstickers, Charlie hauled out his cellphone, a technological marvel which allowed him to keep up with all the latest news via the internet, and did I want to talk politics? And how much he hates Bush? And the chances that North Korea really planned to launch a nuclear attack on the world? And could we stop somewhere so he could buy a descent cup of coffee, and on the subject, did I know how to use the espresso machine regifted to him by his sister for christmas?

Unfortunately, we flew by the Dunkin Donuts and ended up at a 7-11, where he showed me how he makes a "Cadillac," which is 2/3 coffee, 1/3 hot chocolate, 4 packs of sugar and 2 creamers. A guy who looks like a lumberjack who has concocted his own pseudo-Starbucks drink. Limbaugh would be aghast.

Charlie knows little about the business of terrorism, very little about the use of explosives to bring down airplanes, and I find myself talking about work. My work is to keep bad things of airplanes, and what I can tell him about the French getting a plane bombed by the Libyans, the bombing of a Cuban plane by anti-Castro Cuban exiles, and the 1994 al-Qaeda test bombing where the explosive was contained in an contact solution bottle- he finds endlessly fascinating. Sadly, I learn all my juicy details from Wikipedia.

We cross over the deepest waterway in the continental United States via the Solomons Bridge, which is what the locals call it, since it connects Solomons Island to the world, where the precious Tiki Bar may be found. Locals will stare at you puzzled if you call it the Gov. Thomas Johnson Bridge. I told him about the loss of several landmark restaurants to a fire caused by a cigarette butt ($5 million dollars). Which of course puts the small tragedy of an alternator ($437.42) going dead in perspective. Even if when you're a poor federal worker, that's easy a third the weight of your bank card. Ouch.

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